Who are You?

You don’t really need therapy right now.
You’re not truly in crisis, and that’s when people put the “work” into therapy, right?

Still you’re here online researching therapists.

Maybe it’s because you’ve heard a faint whisper. “Go deeper,” it says.

You’ve heard it before, a nebulous invitation from somewhere inside you to find something you can’t quite place your finger on. Wait, is THAT the purpose of therapy? Hmm, it could be.

But again, you don’t really need therapy right now. To others, your life looks quite put-together.

At least from the outside, it appears that all is well. People might not even know you have ADHD. How would they? You’ve learned to hide it, so it’s nearly imperceptible.

Those around you don’t know that hyper-activity in its literal sense has you bouncing around – touching, thinking, feeling, saying, and doing what seems like everything. You cover SO much ground, and concurrently you feel the weight of the BIG questions within your soul.

You often wonder, “How do other people do it? How are they so successful and normal?”

And with that question, your mind goes swirling down a rabbit hole like this…

  • Yeah, how do others appear so normal?
  • Hold up, what is “normal” anyway?
  • Intellectually I don’t want to be normal.
  • No, I don’t want to be the same. I like who I am.
  • But I sure have felt different all my life…
  • And I’ve made every effort to be discreet about it…
  • Yep, I’m like a total pro at anticipating what others might think of me, and heading their perceptions right off at the pass, so they just see my charm and wit.
  • Still I do feel some sadness and even pain around my experience of being different.
  • But if my differences are nearly invisible, does the pain around them even count?
  • God, why do I spiral on things like this!
  • Why can’t I just be who I am?!
  • I’m exhausted by this endless circle, and I’m sick of tamping down the pain.

My clients have ADHD, and they are…

Perpetually curious

Creative and divergent thinkers

Uber charming

Ever thoughtful

Quick witted, funny, and so smart

My clients come to me for all different reasons.
At first, they say things like…

“I don’t feel like I can make clear choices.”

“I feel out of sync.”

“How do other people make confident decisions?”

“How are other people so organized?”

“Other people seem like they’ve always known what they want to do.”

“I don’t know how to move forward with purpose.”

When we delve deeper, clients often say they don’t feel accepted by others. This could be for a few reasons.

1) They may hide their truest selves and regularly filter what they really want to say, what they really think, and what they really want to do.

Remembering the pain of the last time they impulsively blurted the truth and it didn’t go well. Living with the hidden intention of minimizing how different they appear.

2) They aren’t fully aware of how or when their ADHD will disconnect them from others.

For example, they’re going about their daily routine when suddenly someone says something like, “Dude, you are all over the place?” or “Gosh, did a bomb explode in your office?” or “You’re gonna make sure to make the deadline this time, right?”

And then BAM, they’re thrown into a spiral of self-doubt and shame asking themselves, “Am I really always late? Am I THAT disorganized? Is that who I am? Am I lazy or unmotivated? How do people get the work done? Like in a timely fashion without loads of distraction? How do they focus and then do the thing consistently?”

So what’s your soul saying?

Your intuition, your soul, your true self – what does that deepest part of you want?

If you are like many people with ADHD, your soul could be offering an invitation for something more. Increased leadership and responsibility. More visibility at home and at work. The ability to care and serve more fully. The confidence to innovate and create something new.

While your soul may have those gorgeous desires, a predictable inner dialogue is sure to follow. It usually goes like so…. How could I (with all my flaws) do that thing my soul wants to do? I’m not smart enough, organized enough, well-spoken enough, disciplined enough. Oh, and I’m always late.

It’s not really fear speaking. You aren’t fearful of your soul’s desires per se. That inner dialogue is more of a “troll under the bridge.”

carved troll figure

I’m calling the troll, Rupert. Rupert thinks he’s protecting you by criticizing and discrediting. After all, he’s preventing you from failing, embarrassing yourself, or revealing your true self for all to see.

Rupert says it’s safer to stay in a mediocre space where things are good enough, and you can get by. It’s fine. There’s less conflict, less pain, less criticism. Sure, you are settling for something less than your dreams. You don’t really want to live that ideal life anyway. It’s just way too risky.

Rupert is going to help you keep those crazy dreams at bay. On his watch, that wildness inside you will always stay tamed.

Well, assuming you are sick of Rupert, I am here to help you stop settling, speak your truth to Rupert, and walk all the way across the bridge.

What’s your soul saying now?

Ready to give into that whisper to “go deeper,” and give yourself permission to go on a quest to find YOU?